Highlights
Independence is at an all-time high; at least, that’s what most of us think. Technological and medical advancements allow us to live longer and with a greater sense of autonomy than ever before. At the same time, we are facing a serious demographic reality: America is getting older. The median age of Americans now sits at 39.4 years. Known as population aging, this trend, combined with plummeting marriage rates, the sex recession, and declining fertility, spells out a daunting fate. Put plainly, there will be more people who will need care and far fewer younger people available to provide it. We are approaching a crisis of dependency; the alarm bells should be ringing.
Data shows how rapidly the impacts are coming. A 2026 analysis on social security underscores how our country is approaching catastrophe. The number one contributor to the social security crisis? Fertility. By 2035, there will be more people age 65 or older than under the age of 18. This shouldn’t surprise us; it has been well documented that marriage and children are being delayed by young adults, resulting in far smaller younger generations. But potential economic troubles and labor shortages pale in comparison to the emotional and psychological ramifications of population aging.
The Human Cost of An Aging Population
The true crisis lives in relational consequences. Humans are made for relationships, as Aristotle famously posited: we are social animals. But what happens when population decline constrains our ability to achieve this basic human need?
Japan offers a well-known and sobering example. The nation has long faced extraordinarily low birth rates. Today, about 30% of the Japanese population is 65 or older, compared to only 18% of Americans. And the number of single elderly households is only expected to rise. Japan, struggling to keep up with their rapidly growing senior population, has already faced heartbreaking outcomes. Last year, almost 76,000 individuals were found dead alone in their home in Japan, most were seniors. Roughly 30% of bodies were discovered eight or more days after passing away, in some cases, over a month or more, and occasionally, over a year before they being found. These deaths have a name in Japan: “kodokushi,” meaning lonely or solitary death.
Durable bonds, like marriage and family, are the linchpins that elderly care most often rests on.
One factor exacerbating the elder crisis in Japan is rampant financial insecurity: a significant portion of Japanese elderly live in poverty. At first glance, wealth appears to be the solution; money can purchase high-quality professional care services. But that vision of aging neglects both the Aristotelian truth, that we need kinship, and the practical reality that elder care rarely operates without family.
Certainly, professional care can help, but it is no substitute for the network of relationships that makes aging comfortable. Stephanie Murray put the misperception simply “Many Americans assume that if they can afford paid help in older age, they won’t need to rely on kin. They’re wrong.” Paid care is often incomplete, says Murray, citing reasons like the unpredictable nature of aging, senior resistance to professional care, and the fact that care often requires coordination by a family member. These overlooked aspects of elder care help explain why more than 80% of Americans over 65 rely on care provided by family and friends.
Rebuilding the Relationships That Sustain Us
That reality should matter, especially to young adults thinking about the future. Marriage, children, extended family, and stable community should not be viewed as a mere personal preference or a luxury by young adults, but as a necessary facet of life. Durable bonds, like marriage and family, are in fact the linchpins that elderly care most often rests on.
Unfortunately, the current family formation scene is bleak for young Americans. Dating is at a record low. Still, marriage has not totally disappeared from young adults’ aspirations. When most young adults imagine the life they want, marriage is usually still in the picture. Most young men and women are simply not taking the steps necessary to form serious, lasting relationships.
While constant messages on family formation and marriage might feel premature or unnecessary, looming demographic catastrophes make these reminders more important than ever. Not just because of potential economic difficulties, but because on a very personal level, we all need kinship. No one should have to grow old and die alone.
Treating dependency like a societal illness that can be fixed by purely fiscal transactions is existentially unsustainable. While population aging will unavoidably require architecting new safety nets for vulnerable seniors, it is critical that we rebuild the relationships that make care possible in the first place. Strong families, marriages, and communities are not an archaic method of approaching elder care; they are the foundations we need to solve the problem.
Autumn Zeoli is an intern at the Institute for Family Studies and a Master of Public Policy Candidate at the University of Virginia.
*Photo credit: Shutterstock
