Highlights
- When Taylor Swift announced her engagement, those of us concerned about the state of marriage felt a glimmer of culture-shifting hope. Post This
- Taylor and Travis' decision to enter the institution of marriage—which for too many today feels stale and obsolete—could help young Americans rethink their assumptions about family life. Post This
- As they offer up the reality of marriage alongside the glamor of Super Bowl sightings and sold-out concert venues, Taylor and Travis will give cultural credibility to the data-driven, research-supported facts of the benefits of marriage. Post This
A few weeks ago, at a professional conference for marriage and relationship educators in Washington, DC, a speaker asked, “What can we do to make marriage cool again?” to which Alan responded, “Get Taylor and Travis to put a ring on it.”
This wasn’t (exactly) a joke, but a reflection of the desperation pro-marriage advocates feel with U.S. marriage rates tanking, and demographers estimating that one-third of young adults will never marry.
Taylor and Travis, thank you for defying the odds! We join the collective celebration that, in the words of one commentator, “united us all for one brief second [as] we forgot about who was Team Blue and Team Red.”
The sports world gushed over true love while Buffalo Wild Wings volunteered to cater the wedding. Swifties converged on Taylor’s former Manhattan residence for “an emotional moment for every Millennial who grew up screaming the lyrics to 'Our Song.'"
Meanwhile, those of us concerned about the state of marriage felt a glimmer of culture-shifting hope. All the research findings in the world, along with all the existing marriage education resources and conceivable pro-marriage policies, will never reach hearts and motivate behavior the way this marriage story can. To say your influence is monumental is an understatement. Cultural touchstone. Master storyteller. Navigator of broken hearts for Swifties and their moms worldwide, all of whom look to their fearless, beautiful leader to get back on their feet again and “shake it off.”
Taylor and Travis: your decision to enter the institution of marriage, one that for too many young people today feels stale and obsolete (although most still think they will marry someday), could help young Americans now pause to rethink their assumptions about commitment and marriage.
The “royal” wedding of the century will undoubtedly suck up every ounce of media bandwidth for a month around the wedding date. But more importantly, you will model the liberating force of a binding vow for the young people of this lonely world. And we hope you follow up those vows by regularly sharing about the prosaic beauty of day-to-day marital love with your 300 million followers.
Taylor, countless young (and not-so-young) eyes have been on you—and Travis—wondering if your relationship was going to end with, “we are never, ever, ever getting back together,” or “it’s over/I don’t need your closure." The emotional upheaval of rotating through relationships without commitment are center stage in all those poignant lyrics. The heartache, breakups, and regret are familiar to anyone who dates, but perhaps especially when a couple consummates without commitment, then loses any connection at all.
When Taylor announced her engagement, those of us concerned about the state of marriage felt a glimmer of culture-shifting hope.
Taylor, you’ve moaned about relationships that give men “all of that youth for free,” and begged the question, “did the love affair maim you too?” And the impact is real, as evidenced by what writer Patricia Snow describes as the Eras Tour’s collective remembering-and-purging: “tumultuous occasions of female catharsis, as all those pent-up, proscribed emotions . . . sweep the amphitheaters where Swift performs, in a spectacle of passionate solidarity.”
But now, an alternative route from the emotional duress lies ahead as your trauma-filled lyrics give way to happier compositions like “the time we walked down the aisle/ Our whole town came, and our mamas cried/ You said I do, and I did too.” Swifties and Chiefs fans worldwide will sense your commitment and see the healthier trajectory you are taking:
We’ll rock our babies on that very front porch
After all this time, you and I
I’ll be eighty-seven; you’ll be eighty-nine
I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine.
While your heartbreak songs often call out individual bad behaviors, of men using women, or girls “too young to be messed with,” Patricia Snow’s analysis calls for more attention to the cultural forest surrounding these behaviors—one that encourages irresponsibility and lack of commitment. Given that, we’d like to helpfully highlight a few ways that your choice of marriage might shift the relationship landscape.
As you offer up the reality of marriage alongside the glamor of Superbowl sightings and sold-out concert venues, you will hereby give cultural credibility to the data-driven, research-supported realities about marriage that would especially help your more economically (and emotionally) disadvantaged devotees.
Marriage, on average, creates greater financial stability and wealth than the alternatives. That’s not something either of you need, but your many followers sure do!
Children in a stable marriage are unlikely to know poverty. And children who grow up in a stable married family also have distinct developmental advantages in terms of mental health, academic achievement, and avoiding destructive paths. Just imagine how darling your own children will be? Despite what you might read, married moms and dads are happier in the long run than all the alternatives. In fact, a stable, healthy marriage is the strongest predictor of happiness that social scientists have ever found. In fact, married women and men are much more likely than singles or cohabiting couples to say their lives are meaningful and purposeful.
And the relationship alternatives to marriage just don’t measure up (as your songs often well describe). Singles are twice as likely to say they are lonely and are much more likely to commit suicide. Cohabiting relationships, now the default union for young adults, are also much less stable, with lower relationship quality that negatively affects future marital commitment and longevity.
So, thank you, Taylor and Travis, for modeling for an entire globe that you don’t have to stay on the broken relationship treadmill forever. If anyone can turn around young Americans’ marriage apathy, it’s you two.
Some commentators are pooh-poohing the effect your pending nuptials could have on the venerable institution of marriage. But we optimistically lift a glass of champagne to the possibilities of a cultural shift that revitalizes the choice to marry for a new generation.
We get it. Photos of Taylor and Travis carrying diaper bags can’t compete with the paparazzi shots out on the town. Oscar Wilde makes a valid point when one of his characters observes, “I really don’t see anything romantic in proposing . . . Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”
But uncertainty doesn’t take couples to age 87 and 89 together, Taylor, rocking on that front porch of your lyrics. As middle-age beckons you both, millions will be blessed by seeing your union, one grounded in pledges, selflessness, responsibility, and enduring love.
(Oh, and don’t get so caught up in planning the wedding of the century that you forget to invest in a good marriage preparation program to strengthen the foundation of your commitment so that you can forever and ever stay together.)
Betsy VanDenBerghe is a writer specializing in marriage and family issues. Alan Hawkins is Manager of the Utah Marriage Commission and a non-resident fellow of the Institute for Family Studies.
Editor’s Note: An earlier version of this essay appeared in the Deseret News on August 24, 2025 (two days before Taylor and Travis got engaged). The article has been updated and used here with permission. The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or views of the Institute for Family Studies.
*Photo credit: Shutterstock