7 Ways States Can Strengthen Marriage and Families

The decision to get married and start a family is not merely a private choice—it is a public good with profound consequences for children, parents, communities, and state budgets. As family fragmentation rises and its costs ripple across our communities, states are increasingly asking a practical question: What can government do—without overreach—to strengthen families before they fracture? 

Across the country, several states have been experimenting with prevention-based approaches that support healthy marriages, reduce unnecessary divorce, and help families flourish. The following policy ideas highlight promising, evidence-based strategies, and state-level marriage promotion policies that more states should adopt to promote stronger families and better outcomes for adults and children alike.

1. Reduce Marriage License Fees for Couples Who Get Premarital Counseling

Several states like Utah, Texas, and Oklahoma reduce the cost of marriage licenses for couples who complete an approved relationship education course. Research indicates that couples who complete marriage preparation enjoy a 30% increase in marital satisfaction compared to those who do not. These benefits extend beyond just the couple. As reported on these pages, one study found that well-implemented premarital education programs were associated with a reduction in divorces and led to public cost savings of more than $266 million in 2016 alone. 

For couples embarking on second or third marriages, these courses could be modified for new marriages involving children. Given the unique challenges of forming blended families and the increased divorce rates for second and third marriages, some states have considered offering a co-parenting class for marriages where children are already present in order to equip couples with best practices for step-parenting. 

2. Incorporate the Success Sequence into Schools 

Recently, several states including Utah, Alabama, and Tennessee have passed laws requiring schools to make students aware of the benefits of finishing high school, securing employment, and getting married before having children. Millenials who followed this ‘success sequence’ have a 97% chance of avoiding poverty. Informing students of the path most likely to maximize their potential and reduce their chances of living in poverty provides young people with both information and agency. 

3. Promote Relationship Education

Beyond offering practical strategies, at least one state also teaches its citizens how to have successful intimate relationships. Since 1999, Oklahoma has sought to equip its citizens with essential skills needed for healthy marriages by making relationship education widely available to all populations across the state, both in the classroom and beyond. To achieve this goal, Oklahoma developed specific modules for different cohorts. It created a school-based curriculum for middle- and high-schoolers focused on emotions and healthy dating for younger adolescents; and on communication, conflict resolution, and avoiding toxic behaviors for older teens. It then created a version for those applying for public assistance, families involved with child welfare, military families, as well as inmates in prison. Finally, this information was offered to community members and social workers throughout Oklahoma so that healthy relationships and marriage could be promoted consistently and uniformly throughout the state as a pathway to societal and economic well-being. 

There is growing anecdotal evidence indicating that today’s young people are hungry for this type of information and that relationship education courses are popular among high school and college students. States could learn from Oklahoma and take advantage of this opportunity.

4. Evaluate State Agency Rules and Policy Proposals Through the Lens of Healthy Family Formation  

Similar to a fiscal note that accompanies bills and proposed legislation, Louisiana requires a family impact statement for all proposed agency rules, while other states, like Maryland, have considered requiring it for all legislation. Mandating this type of analysis ensures that legislators and agency rule makers are mindful of how proposed policies might impact the most fundamental unit of society. Louisiana has also amended a preamble to its Children's Code in order to frame its laws and statutes around the best interests of children and their families. 

Requiring family impact statements can also encourage state agencies to collect and incorporate family structure into data collection and reporting requirements. This could help states gather important, missing information regarding how family structure is related to school attendance, academic performance, employment, poverty, physical and mental health, as well as involvement with child welfare, juvenile justice, and criminal justice systems. Gathering this information can inform state policy makers how public spending is linked to family structure and enable state agencies to better understand who they are serving and how to best meet the needs of constituents.  

5. Mandate a Divorce Orientation/Parenting Course for Divorcing Parents

Children struggling to cope with divorce are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, academic failure, and other negative outcomes. As a result, many states have laws requiring divorcing parents of minor children to take parenting courses designed to reduce conflict, facilitate cooperative co-parenting, and inform divorcing parents of the factors that lead to resilience among children. Mandating or incentivizing these research-backed programs can provide valuable tools to reduce the negative effects of divorce on children. 

Several states, like Oklahoma, have also started including the potential benefits of avoiding divorce into these mandated courses. These courses cover the topic of parental reconciliation as research increasingly indicates that for one-third of couples going through divorce, one or both partners express interest in reconciling. Because divorce is litigious and often carries a momentum of its own, it is crucial that divorcing parents of minor children learn about the option, and benefits, of reconciliation and how to extract themselves from divorce proceedings once initiated. 

6. Educate Family Court Judges and Divorce Attorneys About Discernment Counseling 

Although there is a widespread acknowledgement that divorce is not ideal, there is no due diligence incorporated into the process to ensure that ending a marriage is the last and only option for distressed couples. Many assume that divorcing couples have pursued other avenues and come to their decision carefully, but research indicates that this is not always the case.  Indeed, a report published in the April 2011 Family Court Review found, “in 45% of couples filing for divorce, at least one spouse is interested in reconciliation.” In light of this research, Minnesota launched a Couples on the Brink project whose mission is to prevent unnecessary divorce and premature divorce decisions. This effort produced a new protocol for distressed couples called Discernment Counseling. 

Discernment Counseling provides a practical roadmap to help couples reach a clear and confident decision about whether they should move forward with divorce or decide to work toward reconciliation. It is a short-term process, typically fewer than five sessions, which seeks not to solve problems, but rather discern whether a couple’s problems are solvable. More than 1,600 counselors across the country have been trained to practice Discernment Counseling. Equipping judges and divorce attorneys with updated research and resources could direct more divorce-ambivalent couples toward discernment counseling, benefitting many couples and their children. Creating an awareness program to be administered through Continuing Legal Education (CLE) and Continuing Judicial Education (CJE) seminars would familiarize Family Law Judges and the other court officers with this evidence-based option. 

7. Utilize Existing Land Grant University Extension Services to Support Marriage and Parenting 

Finally, several states leverage the resources of existing land-grant university systems to offer marriage education and relationship skills programs at no or low cost. Programs like those available through the National Extension Relationship and Marriage Education Network can provide couples relationship education, financial planning workshops, parenting courses, and more. Free in-person courses, like ELEVATE offered through the University of Georgia Extension, and online resources such as podcasts, webinars, and e-Courses, like those available through Utah State University, can be utilized for broader reach. Oklahoma and Iowa have extended the use of land-grant universities to offer support and resources for divorcing parents and offer Co-Parenting for Resilience through Oklahoma and Iowa State University Extension. This model can be replicated to deliver research-backed courses and curriculum throughout states to benefit couples, parents, and their children.

Beyond these statewide policies, there are many local efforts that seek to promote marriage and healthy family formation across the country. One example is National Marriage Week, which offers many free resources that leaders and lawmakers can use to promote marriage. Celebrated every February 7-14, National Marriage Week is part of an annual, international movement that brings together civic leaders, church leaders, and marriage leaders for a common goal and the common good: to restore marriage to its vital role in the American family.

As lawmakers search for ways to combat poverty, improve child well-being, and reduce public spending, they should consider proactively investing in marriages and families. States do not need to reinvent the wheel to support healthy family formation. They can build on proven marriage-friendly policy approaches already working across the country. By shifting interventions upstream and equipping individuals and couples with information, skills, and support at key moments, states can reduce family fragmentation while generating significant social and fiscal benefits. 

Katie MacLeod is the Family Policy Director at the Marriage Initiative. 

*Photo credit: Shutterstock