What ‘Swifties’ Can Learn From Taylor’s Engagement

The internet is abuzz with some of the biggest news of the year. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged, announcing the news on Instagram with the perfect caption: "Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married."

As a long-time Taylor Swift follower (yes, I skipped school to buy tickets and attend the Eras Tour), to me, her engagement is a moment of maturation. Just like for Gen Xers or Boomers, who are reminded of their age when a beloved celebrity of their generation dies, Taylor Swift’s engagement marks a point of reflection for those who grew up with her. My generation has a lot to learn from Taylor Swift—and a lot to look forward to, just like she does.

What Can We Learn from Taylor?

Swift gained fame by songwriting about her own relationships, something not many people in my generation could do; not just because they lack musical talent, but because they also lack experience. Only 58% of Gen Z adults report having gone out on a date during their teen years or earlier, and three in 10 Gen Z adults report they have never even gone out on a romantic date. Many young adults are not actually experiencing the love-stories and heartbreaks Taylor Swift writes about—even if they may sing her love songs. 

While a Millennial herself, Taylor Swift is a countercultural example to many of her Gen Z fans. Her public pursuit of romantic connection differs from the experience of many young adults. In an age where ‘just-talking’ and situationships are increasingly common, Taylor and Travis have signaled an important message to her fans: commitment matters, and marriage hasn’t gone “out of style.”  

Something to Look Forward To

My all-time favorite Taylor Swift song is her classic song Love Story, where she sings of a Romeo-Juliet proposal:

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, 'Marry me, Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.'

I remember singing this song as a child, imagining this scenario in my young imagination, dreaming about it playing out in real life. So did many of my friends. In fact, Swift dreamed of a romance growing up, too. 

Taylor's actualization of a romantic connection is an example for young adults who want the same 'love-story' she desired, to keep marriage as the end goal. 

Just a few weeks ago, Swift appeared on the New Heights podcast with her now fiancé Travis and his brother Jason, where she explained that Travis’ pursuit of her, “is sort of what I've been writing songs about wanting to happen to me since I was...a teenager.” Her actualization of a romantic connection is an example for young adults who want the same “love-story” she desired, to keep marriage as the end goal. 

According to new IFS/Wheatley research released yesterday, there are real benefits for women to this Love Story-type love that ends in a stable marriage and family. Based on a survey of 3,000 women between the ages of 25 and 55, the study finds that married parenthood is linked to greater flourishing for women, with married mothers happier than their unmarried or childless peers. One reason for this is the social connection that marriage and parenthood provide.  

As the figure below illustrates, married women are most likely to receive physical affection.

They are also more likely to report holding hands.

And they are more likely to report snuggling or cuddling.

These gestures of romance and physical touch are also correlated with higher levels of happiness. Women in the survey who reported a high level of physical touch also reported greater levels of happiness.

The findings of the Women’s Well-Being Survey are encouraging for those who find themselves singing along to Taylor’s wistful and hopelessly romantic lyrics. Travis and Taylor’s engagement is another reminder of the endurance and importance of the institution of marriage. Despite her many public breakups, Taylor has shown her many young adult fans that lasting love is still a possible and worthwhile pursuit—which is good news for young women who may be hesitant about marriage and parenthood. As the new IFS/Wheatley research confirms, romance, marriage, and family life are rewarding to those who pursue them. 

Autumn Zeoli is an intern with the Institute for Family Studies and a student at the University of Virginia.

*Photo from Scassoff via Shutterstock.