The Creative Destruction of Motherhood
May 10, 2025
Recently, the pop star Chappell Roan made waves by announcing that motherhood is “hell.” Expressing horror that her mom friends have to “get [expletive] babysitters” to attend her concerts, Roan said she doesn’t know anyone with young kids “who has light in their eyes; anyone who has slept.” Social media furiously debated Roan’s comments. Here’s the complex truth: Roan is right. And also wrong.
First, Roan is just flat-out wrong that moms aren’t happy. In general, mothers—especially married mothers—are typically happier than their counterparts without kids. The Institute for Family Studies recently conducted a survey on moms, finding 21 percent of married moms with kids self-report as “very happy” and 54 percent call themselves “pretty happy.” That’s higher than the 12 percent and 51 percent, respectively, of married women without kids who described themselves as such. For unmarried women without kids, the numbers were even lower.
