The Tragic Truth in 'Anora' That Modern Women Will Recognize

“I just want to recognize and honor the sex worker community,” actress Mikey Madison said, upon receiving her Oscar for Best Actress for her role in the film, Anora. “I will continue to support and be an ally. All of the incredible people, the women that I’ve had the privilege of meeting from that community has been one of the highlights of this incredible experience.”

Madison means well, and there is certainly nothing wrong with highlighting women in the sex industry—if the goal is to humanize them as opposed to objectifying them, as most of the world does.

And while the movie Anora unfortunately objectifies many women on the big screen, it’s one of those seemingly aimless films until the final minute when a twist saves the ending. As editor-in-chief of a women’s magazine that offers actually healthy relationship advice, I would argue that the ending of Anora suggests an important message—and one that very much sympathizes with the modern dating woman. 

What follows are spoilers, which shouldn’t deter you from reading on, because Anora is a highly explicit, objectifying movie that I don’t quite recommend watching.

In Anora, viewers are introduced to Ani (Madison), who works at a New York City strip club and invites men to pay for lap dances and alone time in private rooms. One of the men paying for lap dances is Vanya (Mark Eydelshteyn), a rich son of a Russian oligarch, who takes a liking to Ani. He gets her number so he can solicit her to buy sex later. One thing leads to another, and suddenly he’s inviting her into an exclusive relationship—at least for a weekend gaunt to Las Vegas. For $15,000, she says yes; cue a glamorous, party montage.

Then one day, after one of their many soft-core pornographic sexual encounters, Vanya muses that he doesn’t have to return to Russia if he marries an American. He proposes they get married, and, despite her initial skepticism, he convinces her that he’s serious. They marry in a shotgun Las Vegas wedding, celebrate with friends, and return to New York.

With the official marriage license on the books, word gets out to Vanya’s parents, who are none too pleased. They want to annul the marriage as soon as possible and bring their son back to the homeland. Vanya has no integrity or backbone, and in the end, Anora’s fantasy of being wife to her doting husband is gut-wrenchingly squashed. 

Few women find themselves in Ani's situation as a stripper who gets the chance to marry a rich guy and have their dreams come true—if only for a little while. But in a way, Anora is a hyperbolic replica of what many modern women deal with regarding sex, dating, and cohabitation. 

Too many young women put up with a lot hoping for a happy-ever-after ending, and it’s deeply hurtful to discover that not only is that ending never going to come true, but they've been used for months or years—waiting.

Many single, dating women today hope for commitment, stability, and marriage, but too often fall short in realizing these dreams. Surveys show that most women want marriage and family but are unaware that living together puts them at a disadvantage in reaching these goals. In fact, according to IFS research, one in three young adults will never marry.

The young woman who says yes to moving in with her boyfriend while eagerly waiting for (and possibly never getting) a proposal is already a cultural trope. But, even uglier, there’s evidence to suggest women are putting up with more sexual activity than they’d like to in order to be considered eligible for dating and marriage today. While stripping may seem extreme, you’d be surprised at the number of young women who feel that sending nude photos of themselves is a prerequisite to date in the modern age. In her 2016 book, Girls and Sex, journalist Peggy Orenstein writes, 

While equal numbers of boys and girls may sext voluntarily, girls are twice as likely to be among those who were pressured, coerced, blackmailed, or threatened into it. Fully half of teens sexting in one large-scale survey fell into those categories.

Orenstein goes on: “That’s disturbing, since coercion into sexting appears to cause more long-term anxiety, depression, and trauma than coercion into real-life sex.”

Further research suggests that when it comes to sexual activity, women report being more likely to regret partaking in a sexual encounter (men were more likely to regret passing up a sexual encounter!). Psychology professor Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, who authored a 2017 study on sex regret, told the Telegraph: “We’re not saying that there aren’t men who regret casual sex. But it is far more common for women to regret saying 'yes.' They are also less unequivocally happy about the experience."

This may surprise some sexual-liberationists and feminists who thought that young women were being held back from sexual pleasure and experiences by outdated morals and traditions. It turns out, evolutionary theory that suggests that women are happiest when in stable relationships can be stubborn. 

Lillian Fishman suggested as much in her recent piece at the Metropolitan Review:

[I]t crossed my mind that a young woman...might regret her independent youth and wish she had married a loving person at a young age. I’d associated this idea with a type of womanhood we considered totally outside of our zone of interest: anti-intellectualism, a belief in the primacy of motherhood. I was blindsided by the suggestion that we might be better people if we were recused from formative independence and struggle. I looked around at my friends and acquaintances, especially the married ones, and wondered if there was any truth in the idea that the years they spent as poor captains of their own ships, unmoored and often lonely, were in fact not remotely necessary or enlightening.

In the end, it feels tragic and unfair, just as Ani seems to realize in a cathartic moment at the film’s end. 

In many ways, young women today are sold a bill of goods in the media we consume and the idyllic romantic comedies we watch. They sell convincing fantasy narratives, telling us that sex before love and commitment can lead to a happy, stable marriage—even if in most cases it does not. Too many young women put up with a lot hoping for these outcomes, and it’s deeply hurtful to find out that not only are they never going to come true, but that you have been used for months or years, waiting. 

As I watched the final scene in Anora, in which Ani unexpectedly breaks down, sobbing, I felt the power of her loss, and I believe many young women today would understand her pain. For those who make it that far into the movie, especially young women in the dating scene or those who know such young women, the film’s final moments may provide sympathy—for so many young women and all the feelings they’ve suppressed in hopes for a happily-ever-after that never comes. 

Just as Anora ends on a note that suggests there’s more to come in her story, the film can also send a strong reminder to viewers that they, too, have the freedom to break out of unhealthy relationship cycles and start fresh.

Mary Rose Somarriba is editor in chief of Verily Magazine. She completed a Robert Novak Journalism Fellowship on the links between pornography and trafficking.