1 in 10 Married Young Adults Are on Dating Sites 

Young Americans are ditching dating apps these days. Online safety, authenticity, and dating fatigue or burnout are main concerns for many Gen-Z and Millennials who are looking for a serious relationship. New survey findings suggest there is yet another reason to worry about dating sites: The person you are interested in might be married.

A surprising 11% of married young adults under age 40 report currently using dating apps or websites, according to a recent Institute for Family Studies/YouGov survey of 2,000 adults ages 18 to 39. As a comparison, the share of unmarried young adults who are using dating apps is 14%, not much higher. Overall, about half of young Americans under age 40 say they’ve never used a dating app or website, regardless of their marital status. The shares for Gen-Z (ages 18-27) and Millennials (ages 28-39) are similar, at 57% vs. 54%, respectively.

To be fair, married young adults remain a minority among all young adults who are currently using dating sites. More than three-quarters of young adults under 40 who reported using dating apps or websites (76%) are unmarried, while 24% are married, according to the same survey. This is because there are many more unmarried young adults than married ones in this age group. According to the latest data from the American Community Survey, only 1 in 3 Americans ages 18 to 39 are married.

Married men are much more likely than women to be on a dating site. Some 18% of married men under age 40 are currently using a dating app or website, three times as many as the share of married women in the same age group (6%). In comparison, the gender gap in online dating also exists among unmarried young adults, but it is smaller. About 17% of unmarried men are currently on a dating site, compared with 11% of unmarried women under age 40. 

Income is another factor that shows some differences between married and unmarried online dating site users. Married young adults with an annual income of 100K+ or more are more likely to use a dating site or app than those with lower incomes (16% vs 8%). However, among unmarried young adults, no significant income difference is found regarding their likelihood of being on a dating site or app.  

A few other factors also relate to whether or not married young adults are on dating sites. For example, married young Republicans and Demographics are about equally likely to be using a dating app or site  (15% vs. 14%), and both groups are much more likely than married independents to do so (2%). In addition, married young adults who are parents are more likely to be on an online dating site or app than those who are not parents. Similar patterns also apply to unmarried adults regarding who is more likely to use dating sites.  

One key difference between married and unmarried young adults who use dating apps is that they are looking for different things on the platform. Nearly 4 in 10 married young adults (38%) say they are looking for friends, which is the top reason they are on the site. In comparison, the top reason unmarried young adults use the dating site is to find a committed romantic relationship that leads to marriage (42%). At the same time, casual dates are the second most sought-after reason for both married adults and unmarried young adults on the dating apps.

Finally, married young adults on dating sites appear to have more success than unmarried young adults when it comes to finding what they are looking for. A majority (80%) say that they’ve had success in finding what they seek through dating apps or sites, which is much higher than that of unmarried young adults (39%). This could be because they are not typically looking for committed relationships.

We don’t know enough about how married young adults present themselves on dating sites, such as whether they pretend to be unmarried or are honest about their marital status. The survey didn’t ask about the specific dating app or website these married young adults were using, but other research shows that certain apps, such as Tinder, seem to have a much higher prevalence of married users.

Further analysis on life satisfaction reveals that married young adults using online dating apps are more likely to express strong dissatisfaction with their lives compared to those who are not on dating apps (19% vs. 8%), but their happiness levels and measures of mental health show little difference.

Despite the declining popularity of dating apps, connecting online remains one of the most common ways for young adults who are looking for a committed relationship to meet. However, when it comes to marital happiness, young couples who meet online score lower than those who meet through more traditional venues, such as at church, parties, schools, or colleges. In this sense, Gen-Z’s trend of ditching apps and meeting people in person may be a move in the right direction.

Wendy Wang is Director of Research at the Institute for Family Studies.