How I Found (Some) Empathy for the AI Boyfriend Community
September 11, 2025
Romantic relationships with AI chatbots are an understandably touchy subject—thanks, in part, to disturbing headlines about AI-induced self-harm and psychosis that’ve recently become inescapable. Yet still, there’s a growing population who claim they’re finding love this way. According to a study from the Institute of Family Studies, almost 1 in 5 US adults have used an AI system to seek a romantic partnership. And when faced with judgment from the other 4 out of 5 Americans who can’t make sense of why or how someone would seek intimacy with a nonsentient entity, many of them turn to the r/MyBoyfriendIsAI subreddit.
r/MyBoyfriendIsAI provides a safe space for those with AI partners to connect, shielded from the input of outsiders who’ve never known the love of a bot. It describes itself as “a restricted community for people to ask, share, and post experiences about their AI relationships,” and its rules are strict; many posts are locked so that only vetted members of the sub can comment on them. (I regrettably did not make it past that approval process.) Debates about AI sentience and, ironically, AI-generated text posts are also banned from the page.
